


Noise

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Drama, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-09-20
Updated: 2001-09-20
Packaged: 2018-11-10 18:09:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11132085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Sometimes you're lucky enough to get what you want. Sometimes you're even luckier.





	Noise

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

  
Noise

## Noise

by Dilanne Tomas

Disclaimer: 

Author's Notes: 

Story Notes: 

* * *

Noise  
by Dilanne Tomas 

Rating: PG 13 Some language and violence Category: Drama, angst, hc  
Pairings: None  
Spoilers: None  
Disclaimer: The characters and concepts of Due South are not mine, no copyright infringement is intended, no money is being made. Alliance and Paul Haggis retain all rights and profits. I just wrote a story. Archive: Sure, but let me know. 

Thank you kindly to Marilea, who betas all my fiction. I can no longer find the betaed copy for this one, but I'm sure I had one. Hope I got all the corrections. If not, it's not her fault. Mea culpa. Thanks to the wonderful fic writers and fun-loving supportive Duesers at RedSuitsYou (and the DS Fiction List). And special thanks to Kim Parker for offering to get me archived to the DS Archive at Hexwood. Wow, after all this time. TYK, Kim. 

Teaser: Sometimes youre lucky enough to get what you want, sometimes youre even luckier. 

* * *

He raised a hand from his sid{e and let it drop onto his chest. The white cotton tank stuck to his skin, in fact every part of him felt sticky-wet with perspiration. Not the clean perspiration he might have gotten from a days healthy exertions back home, but the tacky sheen caused by heat and humidity and pollution. City grit and sweat. He felt not only hot but dirty. 

He cast a glance at the snoring wolf curled on the braided rug across the room. _How can he sleep in this? Hes an arctic wolf for Gods sake. He should be suffering from this heat far worse than I am right now._

He turned back to face the open windows. _Its already sweltering, but if I close the windows that will make it completely airless._ As bad as the air was, the thought of less of it dismayed him. 

On cue, the noises from the street resumed. The garbage truck compactor whined, as its contents crashed and clunked their way towards being completely crushed. That in itself wouldnt be so bad -- in another fifteen minutes the truck would be out of hearing range, even for him -- but then the street sweeper would be due to follow at just about the time hed be falling back to sleep. 

*All right. The noise wins. And I lose sleep either way,* he grumbled mentally, rising from his bedroll to cut off the sounds as best he could. 

As the sleep deprived Mountie set about shutting each window in turn, the wolf stretched and rolled and drifted into an even deeper slumber. 

The exhausted Canadian turned back after closing the final window. He sighed, envying the wolf his peace. _At least the noise doesnt bother him. I doubt Ill ever sleep that deeply again._ Nevertheless, he headed back to his place on the floor to try once again. 

The theory that the air would be cooler lower down or that the wood itself might be of some cooling comfort had brought little noticeable relief. He might as well have slept in the narrow bed after all. Hed spent much of the winter months in it confines, but in this weather it seemed to want to suffocate him. 

However, it wasnt the heat that had kept him awake. The noises of the night had been the worst sleep ravagers. 

Three times the air had been pierced by car alarms, once a large motorcycle had roared the length of West Racine, another time there had been a terrible screech of brakes that had sounded like it would end in the sickening sounds of a crash... but hadnt. Then there had been the womans scream that had turned out to be a drastic overreaction to her escorts perceived flirtation with another woman. Hed instantly slipped on his pants and been halfway down the fire escape -- like an illicit lover fleeing a discovered tryst -- when he heard the snatches of shrill conversation that explained away the need for intervention. 

He had slowly made his way back up the metal steps and into his apartment after that. The effects of the fight-or-flight adrenaline rush took some time to wear off, but it didnt much matter, on this night there always seemed to be something new to rouse him once he had relaxed enough to settle back to sleep. 

Summer in this crowded, dirty and, above all, noisy city was taking its toll on the Mountie. 

All too soon, it was time to awake -- officially. It had been so long since hed had a single unbroken nights sleep that he could barely conjure the memory of facing a day fully rested. 

Last night, for all its assortment of interruptions hadnt had a single siren (police, fire or ambulance), shot fired, car or truck backfire, truck or van reverse warning signals, dog or cat fight or wailing cat in heat. There had been no loud or violent domestic disputes in his building or neighboring buildings, no raucous parties. No helicopters had droned over the rooftops. And there had been no sound of breaking glass -- one of the more troubling recent noises since hed never been able to pinpoint the exact cause and location of that particular disturbance. 

All these sounds had in differing combinations on various nights awakened the Mountie. 

As he yawned his way through his shower, he decided to try cotton in his ears tonight. If he could lessen the noise maybe the heat alone wouldnt be enough to break up his sleep. 

* * *

Benny, you dont look so good. 

Thank you, Ray? You look fine yourself. 

I mean it, Benny. You gettin enough sleep? 

Well, no, Ray. The city noises have been... well, Im trying to adjust to the variety of summer sounds. 

That bad, huh? Guess I dont notice em, cause Im city born an bred. 

Thats probably so. It might not be so bad if the temperature would drop. 

You lost me. 

If I could close the windows, Ray. 

Right, no AC in that dum -- ah, dive -- ah, place you live. Maybe we could get you a good fan. That could help a little and the drone might drown out some of the noise. 

Maybe so, Ray, Fraser acknowledged with another yawn. Probably his twentieth so far this morning. 

Canadian border coming up. All out for the Northwest Territories. 

The green Buick slid in next to the curb. 

Thank you, Ray. 

Did I get it right? 

Fraser gave him a quizzical look. 

The Territory thing, was that right? 

Why, yes, Ray. Now that you mention it, you did get it right. 

Cool. 

Oh, I wish it were, Fraser quipped as he opened the door to get out. 

Wow, you made a funny, Benny. 

Fraser let out a small sigh. I wish it were a bit funnier. 

I cant do it tonight, but Ill take you fan shopping on our lunch break. 

You dont have t-- 

Not a big deal. 

My budget-- 

Ill loan you the balance. 

I-- 

Benny! 

Okay, Ray. 

Fraser held the seat forward for the wolf. These days -- dog days, they were called -- Fraser took him to the air conditioned consulate whenever feasible. 

Thanks. 

Nothin. See you later. 

As soon as the door shut Ray pulled out. *Im glad Fraser said they dont make him do the "tin soldier at the door" routine when the temperature is over ninety degrees. Id hate to think of him standing out there in this -- especially in the "red surge thing" they make him wear. 

Fraser signaled the wolf to follow, but in truth he couldnt have kept him from the cool interior of the consulate if hed tried. Sometimes he half expected Dief to report to work without him just to get into the air conditioning and to wheedle treats from the staff. 

He opened the door and the wolf trotted in ahead of him eager to begin his day. Fraser shook his head and followed. 

It turned out that getting a fan for Frasers apartment was not meant to be on the days agenda after all. 

* * *

Frasers office in the consulate was so cool, the sounds from the street so muffled and the paperwork he had to do so dull, that heV could barely manage to stay awake as the hours crept by. He caught himself nodding over his desk several times and his lids were heavy and drooping. It was only by the severest self discipline and the desperate measure of caffeine overdose that he was able to continue at all. 

Somehow he made it through the morning, staying -- mostly -- awake. 

True to his word, Ray called to say he was on his way to pick him up and that theyd go looking for a fan... "maybe two, hed added. One on either side of the bed. That can really make a difference. Before Ben could explain the lack of spare funds in his monthly budget for any extravagances Ray had clicked off the other end. Fraser replaced the handset with a sigh. 

Ten minutes later, Fraser was standing in the front doorway trying to coax a recalcitrant Dief into leaving with him. Dief refuhsed to exit the building, electing to stay in the air conditioning. 

Diefenbaker. Could you refrain from making a spectacle of yourself and by extension me? 

The wolf spun away from him in an almost haughty manner, making it clear that he had no intention of following his friend back out into the heat. Ingrate. Well talk about this later. Dief padded further into the cool inner recesses of the consulate, heading for the kitchen. "At least try to avoid annoying the Inspector," he called out, aware of the futility of the directive. 

Disgusted with the wolf Fraser closed the door behind him, exiting just as Ray pulled the Riv up to the curb. He slid into the front seat with his usual grace and the Buick sped away from the consulate. 

Forcing himself to forget the ungrateful wolf Ben began to explain to Ray that one fan would be quite sufficient, at least for this week. He achieved as much success with Ray as he had with Diefenbaker. After a few blocks he gave up the attempt. 

They were almost to the mall when the alarms drew their attention to the bank. 

Ray. 

I hear. I hear. He swerved the Riv through traffic, crossing the two lanes needed to pull in near the screaming building. 

People were frantically running out of the bank as if pursued. The revolving door spun at a dangerous speed and the glass doors to either side were alternately flying open and bumping partway closed as person after person ran through. No one was stopping to politely hold the door Mountie fashion. Ra_y had the image flash momentarily of Benny rushing to correct that. 

What gives? Ray wondered as they leapt from either side of the Buick. Chicago P.D., he shouted toward the fleeing individuals. Whats going on? Robbery? Terrorists? 

Bomb! one man answered as he streaked past them. 

Damn! 

He noticed Fraser continuing into the bank without slowing. 

Fraser! He scanned the street in both directions. No sign of back-up. No blue and whites, no bomb squad vehicle, no fire trucks, nothing. Dammit, Benny, why do you do these things? He followed his friend into the bank. Why do I? 

Once through the doors, Ray quickly took in the chaotic scene. There had obviously been some sort of mayhem here. A few people were still running for the doors, but there were bodies on the floor and there was blood. 

Ray. His eyes followed the voice to the sight of his friend carrying a barely conscious woman towards him. Take her outside. 

Ray moved toward Fraser. As they met and Fraser transferred the petite bundle over to his arms, Ray saw the blood on his friends hands and saw it soaking through the injured womans blouse. For an instant he caught Frasers eyes before the Mountie turned away again. 

Theres a man unconscious behind the counter. Fraser stated as he disappeared again. 

Ray headed out through one of the swinging doors. The woman in his arms moaned in pain. 

"Shh. It's okay. You'll be okay." She went limp in his arms as she finally slipped into unconsciousness. 

Sirens announced the approach of the cavalry. Once outside, Ray headed toward an ambulance that was nearing the front of the bank. As soon as he transferred the woman to the EMTs, he raced back to find Fraser. 

Just as Ray approached the door to the right of the center revolver, Fraser pushed open the left side door with his back. The Mountie staggered under the weight of a large man who was a deadweight in his arms. Running over to help, Ray reached under the sagging body to grip Frasers arms in a rough approximation of the firemans chair. 

With the weight now awkwardly divided between them, they moved as fast as the injured mans bulk would allow. 

Is there really a bomb? Ray gasped out. 

Yes, I believe so. The young woman said she saw it. The robbers threatened to detonate it if anyone tripped the alarm or attempted to leave in less than five minutes after their departure. 

The EMTs raced to them with an ambulance gurney and relieved them of their heavy burden. As the team began to work on the man while wheeling him toward the ambulance, Ray rubbed at his strained arms. 

What about the injured people? What went dow-- Ray got a sudden, scary feeling that he was talking to himself. He turned to where Benny had been standing seconds before and found that he was now alone. Benny? Oh, no! 

Fraser was once again heading back toward the bank. No. No. No. No. No. Ray turned once again to follow. Why? Why does he-- 

It was then that the world went white. 

Seconds later Ray found himself lying on the sidewalk, bruised, disoriented and dizzy. It took another second or two for him to remember, Benny! 

He felt nauseous as he sat up and looked back toward the bank building with a growing fear. The windows and doors were blown out, but the structure seemed intact. And, _thank God_ there was a figure in red pushing himself up off the sidewalk, albeit none too steadily. 

Ray got up rather clumsily himself. He walk-staggered toward his crazy friend. 

Fraser took a few steps toward him, looking dazed. They sort of fell into one another then staggered toward the recovering clusters of civilians, cops, firefighters and EMTs. 

You okay, Benny? 

Are you all right, Ray? 

Ray nodded, worsening his nausea. Im fine, he exaggerated. What about you? he asked again looking more than a little worried. You were closer. 

Im okay, Fraser blatantly overstated. 

A uniformed cop and an EMT came up on either side of them and assisted them toward a rescue vehicle. The last ambulance had left and more were on the way. 

Fraser was settled onto the back bumper of the vehicle next to a firefighter who was bleeding from a scalp wound. Ray let the cop lead him over to lean against the hood of an adjacent squad car. 

You okay? the officer asked. 

You betcha. But his shakiness and uneven breathing undercut his words. Thanks... 

Ransy, John Ransy. 

Thanks, John. Ray... Vecchio. Ray noticed that Ransy kept a hand on his shoulder for support. Im okay, really. Just a little shook up. Ray focused on Fraser. He was much closer when it went off. 

The cop followed Rays gaze toward Fraser. What is he, some kinda Mountie? 

You betcha. Ray examined Fraser closely across the nine or so feet which separated them. Fraser seemed a little scraped up, a little dazed, could have a concussion, but... on the whole he looked okay _for someone who ran headlong into an exploding bomb._

Was he running _into_ the building? The uniformed cop seemed to echo Rays thoughts. 

You betcha. 

Hero complex? 

You betcha. 

Some kinda crazy Mountie. 

You bet-- 

\--cha. It didnt take a genius to figure out that pattern. Ransy was beginning to wonder if the detective had gotten a few marbles shaken loose. 

Some kinda crazy Mountie, right Fraser? 

Ransy was relieved to hear something besides, You betcha. 

Fraser was still being examined and didnt answer Ray. 

You dont go running towards an explosion, Benny. You run the other way. 

Fraser was watching the medical technician remove a glass sliver from his hand. 

Nothing to say for yourself, eh Benny? 

Fraser looked toward Ray this time, but offered no excuses, no explanations. 

Well, arent you going to tell me that there may have been more lives to save. Maybe someone left their Pekingese behind in the bank. Fraser shut his eyes as though in pain and Ray felt fear course through him again. 

_Damn. Is he hurt worse than I thought? Or did he have to leave someone else behind in the building?_ Ray knew that would hurt the Mountie as much as a physical injury. He felt scared and guilty for having taunted Fraser. The man couldnt help it if he needed to save the world. It was no worse an addiction than Rays craving for Armani, even if it was a just a tad more dangerous. 

He moved away from the car hood intending to cross to Fraser, and felt a wave of dizziness. Officer Ransy steadied him once again and this time led him to the open passenger side of the squad car. Before allowing himself to be guided onto the seat, Ray glanced back toward Fraser one more time, but the EMT now stood between him and the Mountie, blocking his view. 

Moments later, sirens announced the arrivals of more vehicles and suddenly both he and Fraser were being loaded into separate ambulances. Ransy offered to drive the Riv to the hospital for Ray. Ray gave him the keys. Ransy said hed deliver them personally into Rays hands at the hospital within the hour. Ray thanked the man once again before he was swept away. 

All the way to the hospital Ray found himself wondering if Fraser was okay after all. 

* * *

*Another ER, another Canadian dollar,* thought Ray as he was wheeled through the doors into the fluorescent lighting, the gray-white ceilings and the blue and gray walls. At least this time he was conscious or, more importantly, Benny didnt have a bullet in his back. _Well, yeah, he does have a bullet in his back, but he doesnt have a fresh bullet..._ his thought trailed off as he noticed Fraser being examined in a cubicle he was passing. 

Benny! he shouted as they wheeled him by all too quickly. Thats my friend. I need to find out if hes okay. 

Later... The orderly looked at his chart before continuing, ...Mr. Vecchio. Weve got to find out how youre doing first. 

But... 

Not buts, Im afraid. Were very busy here today because of the explosion in which you were involved. We have to assess each patient and attend to his or her needs. Theres no time to be checking patients other than those... His attention suddenly went to something at the other end of the corridor. Oh, my... He seemed about to say the big G word, but cut himself off. I have to take care of something. Be right back. Dont move. 

As soon as the orderly was out of sight Ray sat up and slid off the gurney. He backtracked to the cubicle in which hed seen Fraser. Almost immediately Fraser saw him at the door and smiled widely. 

Ray, youre okay? 

Im fine, just a little rattled. You? Ray noticed they had attached some of those little thingamahoosits to Frasers chest and a doohicky to his finger. Of course these worried him. 

Fraser picked up on his concern. Im okay, Ray. They just want to run some more tests before releasing me. Ray thought he looked pretty good, considering. Just a few band aids on his hands and face and a small butterfly bandage over his right eye. _Not too bad._ It could take awhile. You dont have to wait. 

Of course Ill-- 

Mr. Vecchio! I cant leave you for one minute! 

Uh-oh. Busted. Gotta run, but I wont leave without you. 

Fraser gave him a reassuring thumbs up and Ray returned the gesture before he was led away by Mr. Orderly-ness. 

About an hour later, Ray was released with a handful of painkillers (slightly stronger than over-the-counter) and told to take the next day off from work. He didnt seem to have a concussion, but he did have a good sized goose egg and might have trouble getting rid of the headache he already had. Other than that, he had the usual assortment of bruises associated with a short splat onto concrete. 

The doctor said he could drive as long as he waited until he got home to take the painkiller. He called the precinct and let them know that he was essentially okay but would not be reporting in tomorrow on doctors orders. Then he called the consulate and told them what had happened and that he thought Fraser was okay, but hed let them know as soon as he knew more. The secretary told him theyd look after Dief. 

Afterwards, he sat waiting for Fraser in the small waiting room inside the double doors. It was certainly preferable to the larger, outer area which was almost always overcrowded and desperate. Today it would have been horrendous. 

John Ransy had delivered the keys to the Riv and given Ray clear directions on where he would find it parked. Ray thanked the man one more time and they shook hands, clearly saying, Im really glad to have met you. Hope we meet again, without the actual words. 

Ray was beginning to work up his anxiety, not to mention his headache, one more time when Fraser appeared at the door to the waiting room. 

Ray. Thanks for waiting. Im ready to go now. 

Wow, Benny, thats... thats terrific. Lets blow this joint. 

He got up and left with the man in red. 

Noticing that Benny looked out on his feet Ray planted him by the ER door and went to get the Riv on his own. He knew his friend must be feeling it or he would have had an argument all the way to the car. 

He found the Buick with no trouble and when he pulled up to the ER doors, found Fraser standing outside the door looking for him instead of sitting inside where hed left him. _Not feeling bad enough to lose all of his stubbornness._ Fraser slipped into the passenger seat. 

The headache, which was growing steadily, kept Ray unusually quiet. After several minutes had gone by, it occurred to him that Fraser might need to get a prescription filled. Benny, do you need to get... He turned and noticed that Fraser had lain his head back and closed his eyes. Ray decided it could wait. The rest of the trip went by in silence. 

When the Riv stopped, Fraser stirred. Here already. He wiped a hand across his eyes. Sorry, I dozed off, Ray. He opened the door. Thank you for the ride. He started to get out. 

Wait a minute, Benny. But Fraser shut the door before Ray could finish. _Damn_ He shut off the ignition and tried to follow the Mountie, but by the time he got out, the front door of the building was closing behind Fraser. Ray reached in and pulled the keys from the ignition, locked the car doors and went after the elusive Canadian. 

He couldnt see Fraser inside, but he banged on the door anyway. _He cant be that far already._ When Fraser didnt return to the front door Ray waited until he figured his friend would have made the climb to his third floor apartment. Inwardly he knew it hadn't really enough time, but, as usual, he was impatient. He tried the buzzer a few times and then just jimmied the door. It was disgustingly easy. _One of these days I have got to get this man to move._

He reached Frasers third floor apartment and knocked. No answer. He knocked again, waited and still got no answer. _Okay. Enough already._ Fraser! He knocked once more and then he opened the door. 

If Benny was angry at him for his stupid comment earlier or feeling bad because he had to leave someone in that bank, they needed to talk. If it was something else, they still needed to talk. 

While in the hospital hed heard that there were at least two fatalities in the bank this afternoon, but he didnt know any of the details. Something was going on with Benny, whether it was guilt or anger or some hidden injury, he wasnt going to leave until he found out what it was. 

Benny. He walked in and pulled the door shut behind him. At first he saw no sign of Fraser. He passed the empty kitchen and crossed well into the bedroom area before he saw the figure almost silhouetted against the late afternoon sun in front of the open window. 

Benny. He spoke the name more quietly as he approached. But Fraser wouldnt acknowledge him. _This is worse than I imagined. He wont even look at me._ Ray was so close now he could touch him. 

Benny. He reached out a hand and nearly screamed when Fraser jumped at the touch. 

Ray! They both took seconds to recover. I didnt hear you come in. Im sorry. 

I knocked and I called your name a coupla times. Fraser stared at him and Ray saw something in his face, something in his eyes that worried him. He saw it, but he couldnt tell what it was. 

Benny, whats wrong. What the hell is going on? 

Fraser looked back out the window. The citys quiet. 

Ray couldnt believe how infuriating this man could be. Benny, don't talk to me about the city being quiet. And dont tell me any Inuit stories. I want to know whats going on with you. 

You know the expression, _be careful what you wish for?_

What the... 

It was the force of the blast. Its happened to me before, but not like this. Not so completely, nor for so long. 

A chill ran up and down Rays spine and his neck hairs were vibrating with dread. He put his hands on Frasers upper arms and turned his friend to face him once more. 

Benny? 

Fraser swayed. Ray, I think... I need... to sit down. 

Ray steadied him and helped him to the nearest chair. His head was pounding with agony by now. But the knot of fear in his stomach was far worse. He knelt beside the chair and felt Frasers forehead. Maybe slightly warm, but nothing alarming. 

The blue-gray eyes met his in the dimness. The voice was calm. 

Its quiet now, Ray. His tongue darted out to lick a corner of his lip, then disappeared. Too quiet. I wanted silence and now I cant hear... I cant hear... anything. The eyes held his. Rays mouth dropped open in shock as if he were about to speak. Nothing, Ray. Not your words. Not even mine. 

Ray sank down the rest of the way to the floor. At first his mind was blank, numb. Then thoughts began to flood his brain in a crazy rush. 

The whole afternoon fell into a pattern now. He realized everything that had happened. Fraser hadnt been ignoring him. It wasnt guilt or anger or even pain -- not that kind of pain, anyway. And the thing that Ray had seen in Bennys eyes -- he knew now what that was, too. It was fear. Simple fear. Guarded. Hidden. But there. Never having seen it in those eyes before, he hadnt recognized it. 

* * *

They sat the same way for some minutes. Fraser occupying the chair and Ray a spot of floor. Then Ray raised himself back up to his knees to face his friend. Fraser was staring out the window again. Ray touched him gently on the arm. Ben turned back to face him. 

What about the doctors, Benny? What did they say? 

Fraser watched him intently, but shook his head after Ray had finished speaking. 

Ray tried again, speaking slowly and enunciating carefully. 

Again Fraser shook his head. As Ray began once more, Fraser interrupted, placing a hand on the detectives shoulder. Dief reads lips, as does my neighbor, Grace. I do not read lips, Ray. If you have something important to say, perhaps you should write it out. 

Ray got up and Fraser told him where to find a pen and paper. A few moments later, Ray returned. He pulled the small table nearer to Frasers chair and pulled the other chair over, then sat in it. He wrote out his question about the doctors and showed it to Fraser. 

They noticed some hearing loss. However, they did not ascertain the extent of the loss. 

You didnt tell them? 

Frasers eyes narrowed as he tried to discern Rays words. Ray wrote them down. 

I did not feel the need to elucidate them. 

You held back from the doctors, Benny? Once again, Fraser shook his head and shrugged. 

Sorry. Ray wrote it down as a question. 

I did not wish to spend the night in the hospital, which undoubtedly would have happened had they known the extent of my hearing loss. So, yes, Ray, I withheld that information. 

=Maybe they could help.= He wrote on the pad this time. =Theyre doctors. Thats their job.= 

When he showed the pad to Fraser this time, it caused the other man to get up from the chair. The result was a bit shaky, but successful. He went to the window again. 

If there is no improvement within the next twenty-four hours, I will return to the medical establishment and undergo whatever tests and treatments they deem necessary. But, a cursory examination did not reveal the extent of the damage done, therefore nothing immediate was likely to have happened beyond further testing. 

Ray, believe me, I wouldnt risk my hearing. If I thought that postponing those tests would make a difference I would have stayed. 

Ray wrote, =Dr. Fraser, I presume?= 

He walked over to join the Mountie at the window. His latest jotting elicited a wry smile. 

Ray could feel his muscles tightening from the building pain in his head, his hand went to his forehead to ease the throbbing. Ray, youre in pain. Fraser was stunned that he hadnt noticed before. It was so evident. 

Headache. He said it, then wrote it. =I have pain pills. Did they give you a prescription -- anything to take or to be filled?= 

Theres no need. Ray, please take whatever you need to take. He didnt tell his friend about the pills in the pocket of his tunic. It was left to his discretion to decide if he needed them. He had decided. He read the new note Ray held out for him. 

=Not supposed to drive after I take it. Can I stay here tonight?= 

Fraser faced the window again. You neednt bother, Ray. Dont worry about me, Ill be... 

...fine Ray finished with him. I know, he continued. 

He wrote. =Easier for me, too. Too wiped out to drive. Head killing me.= He tapped his friend on the shoulder. 

Fraser turned back, looked down to read and then up at him again. Of course. Im sorry. Ive been so focused on myself, he turned back to the window, indulging in a bit of self-pity. 

Youre allowed, Benny. He didnt write that down. Instead he took the packet of pills from his pocket and headed into the kitchen proper -- _as if this was a proper kitchen._

A moment later he heard Bennys voice. 

Ill be right back, Fraser said as he disappeared from his spot at the window. 

Ray swallowed the two pills with some water. He sat back down and waited for his friend to return from the communal bathroom. He lay his head on his folded arms on the table, wishing the medication would take effect. 

When he awoke it was night. His headache pain was substantially reduced. He couldnt believe he had slept like that. He couldn't even remember falling asleep. He looked at his watch. It was nearly eight. He looked around and saw Fraser standing in front of the window again. He had removed the red tunic, redder today with the blood of the people he had rescued from the bank. 

_I wonder how long hes been standing there like that._ Benny? There was no reaction, of course, but he'd had to try. 

He got up and stood nearby. He thumped around a bit, hoping the vibrations might alert Fraser and maybe this time he wouldnt startle his friend. 

After a few moments Fraser turned to him. Ray, youre awake. Has your headache lessened? 

Ray nodded in answer. Good. Ben turned back to look out the open window. Im still unable to hear. 

Some moments passed before he continued. I had been hoping that at least partial hearing would have returned by now. As I said earlier, Ive experienced this type of loss before, though not to this degree. In the past the hearing began improving within the first few hours. 

They stood looking out the window for nearly a minute. Last night I was almost envying Dief his ability to sleep through the city noises. It was a foolish thing to do, dont you think? To trivialize his deafness because I couldnt get enough rest. 

Ray reached out and put a hand on his friends forearm. He gently led him back to the table, guiding him to sit in the chair he had vacated. He went around the table, found the pull string for the overhead bulb and yanked it. 

Fraser winced against the glaring light. Ray sat down and wrote on the pad once more. 

=Its not a punishment. You did nothing to deserve this. Nothing.= 

Fraser squinted his eyes as he read Rays words. 

Ray pulled the pad back and wrote: =You WILL get your hearing back.= 

Ben fought back hurtful emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. Swallowing hard, he got up from the chair again. 

Ill get ready for the night. 

He crossed to the small dresser Ray had helped him purchase and transport from the Salvation Army thrift shop. Ignoring the fact that his hands still trembled when he tried to use them, he pulled open a drawer and took out a fresh tee shirt. The one he was wearing held a few spots of blood. Had it belonged to the man or the woman? He would never know. Youre welcome to any clothing you find comfortable for the night, Ray. Help yourself. 

Ray went over to the dresser and showed Fraser the pad again. =Can you eat anything?= 

No, Ray. I think not. But please dont let that stop you. 

Ray wrote: =Me, neither.= He couldnt believe he hadnt had lunch or dinner and he had no appetite. _Guess getting blown up can do that to you._

Fraser stripped down to his shorts and put on the fresh tee, tossing the soiled clothes into a basket with none of his customary care. 

You can have the bed. Ive been sleeping on the floor anyway. Ben kicked out his bedroll, suiting his actions to his words. 

Benny, you... But Fraser was already stretched out on the floor. Ray pulled the light cord and sat on the edge of the bed. He was having trouble adjusting to these lopsided conversations. 

As soon as the thought hit, it hit him hard -- this might be the way it would be for Fraser for the rest of his life. Hed have to leave the RCMP. A Mountie could have a deaf wolf, but a wolf couldnt have a deaf Mountie. _What would Benny do? Probably leave Chicago for one thing. Man this is not a good line of thinking. Benny is just going to have to get over this, thats all there is to it._

A strange, smothered sound caught him and caused him to freeze. He was sure it was a sob. A single strangled sob. He waited in the silence, but the sound was not repeated. 

Soon after that Ray went down the hall into the bathroom. He only punched the wall once. It wasnt such a hard wall. 

* * *

For the first time in weeks the noise didnt keep Fraser awake, nor did the heat. Logical or not, its effect seemed to dissipate with the lack of sound. What kept him awake this night was the smothering silence. 

He forced himself to lie still, breathing evenly so that Ray might believe him to be asleep. 

* * *

Ray didnt think he could sleep, he was so worried about his friend. He wanted it all to be a nightmare. It was always like that whenever the world suddenly shifted and the illusion of safety was shattered. It felt so unreal and so hard real at the same time. 

He worried, he fretted and still he fell asleep in not too long a time. Not a calm, healing sleep, but one his battered mind and body couldnt resist. 

* * *

He let the dizziness wash over him. The nausea rose and fell. Hard sidewalk under him, a sea of shattered glass. The bank. Hed been knocked down by the blast. He remembered now. He felt his thoughts clearing through the throbbing in his head. Still he was waiting for something... something else... to happen. What was it that he expected? 

He tried to get up, but was very clumsy. Ray came over to help him. He focused on his friend. Rays lips were moving, but he wasnt making... there wasnt... a sound. Thats what he was waiting for. He was waiting for the noise to return. It was quiet all around him. Quiet inside, too. There wasnt a breath of sound. 

As he tried to chase down one small noise to catch and hold, his minds voice alone responded. *Be careful what you wish for,* echoed in his head. 

* * *

He was wet with perspiration, not really from the heat. He didnt hear the troubled, frightened sound that came from his throat, but his friend sleeping nearby did. 

Awake now, Ray got out of the bed and walked over to the chair. If Fraser saw him and wanted to get up to join him, to talk, he would be there. If not, he could always try sleeping again -- in a little while. 

Fraser did not get up, he seemed to still be asleep, but Ray couldnt tell for certain. Eventually he was nodding off again at the table and decided to return to the bed. He was padding across the room ( _Be quiet so you dont wake him? You ninny!_ ) when Fraser again whimpered in his sleep. 

Ray stopped, frozen where he was on the bare wooden floor. He ran his hand over the top of his head and down to the back of his neck. _Benny._ It clawed at his heart to hear his friends suffering. _He cant even hear himself._

* * *

He fought his way up from another nightmare, clutching at consciousness with fierce desperation. He forced his eyes open. Still gray city night. He looked to see Ray sleeping. He strained his hearing (what would have been his hearing) outward past the silence. Nothing. 

He got up and stumbled toward the kitchen. Was he making too much noise? He looked back. Ray seemed undisturbed. 

He took a glass from the freezer and poured water from the pitcher he kept refrigerated -- tips from Ray and Ma Vecchio to combat the summer heat -- these were things he had never done back home. He wished his hands would steady out soon. 

As he turned away from the fridge, he nearly dropped the glass when he found his face inches from his fathers. 

Dad! He hoped he kept his startled reaction to a whisper. There was no way he could tell. 

How are you, son? 

He saw his fathers lips moving, but couldnt hear the words. 

Oh, dear. Dad, Im deaf. I cant hear you. 

Nonsense, son. Im dead, of course you can hear me. 

Dad, its useless to prattle at me, I cant hear a thing. 

Robert Fraser tried to interrupt his son at the word prattle, but was unsuccessful since Ben couldnt hear him. I dont prattle, son. I try to share the little wisdom I gained from living and dying -- even though my death was sadly premature. 

Dad, its no use. I see your mouth going at it, but I dont hear you atall. 

Benton, Im dead. If you wanted to hear me you could. 

Can you please give me some peace. 

Isnt that what got you into trouble in the first place? Pining away for some peace and quiet. 

Rays here. I dont want to disturb him. Can you please leave? 

Stubborn. Stubborn to the end -- just like your mother. You could hear me if youd a mind to. 

Ben peered into the bedroom area. Ray still seemed asleep. 

Good. He swung back around to the kitchen. Empty. Good. 

He sat in a chair at the table, the aches and dizziness which hed been able to ignore all afternoon in light of his one overriding concern, were increasingly demanding notice. He hadnt told Ray that the doctor hadnt wanted to release him for at least another day. 

His attention drifted again toward the window. He couldnt help listening for any one of the annoying noises that had been keeping him awake for weeks. He also couldnt help reflecting on the irony of how welcome any one of those irritating sounds would be. 

He refused to entertain the prospect of a life without sound, a life without the RCMP. He knew he should prepare himself for that possible outcome, but he wasnt ready for that tonight. Not tonight. 

He held onto the hope that this would be dispelled with the morning light, like a dream, or soon thereafter. He held onto the life hed always known. It hadnt yet been taken from him. Not quite yet. 

There was Ray in his field of vision. Looking rumpled and sleepy and scared. It touched him to see his friends concern. 

Ray smiled at him, pointed to the water sitting on the table and headed to the kitchen to pour himself a glass. 

He came back with the water and sat across from his friend. The water was cool, refreshing, but the heat didnt bother Ray that much, it was cold he found hard to take. Canada would never be an option. 

They sipped their water and sat as the light outside went from gray to predawn silver and then slowly to the peach glow of the invisible sun. They had no need for conversation. 

The morning was fully arrived when Ben got up to replenish his water reserves. Once in the kitchen the glass slipped from his shaking hands. He was undeniably wobbly. He reached out to the counter for support, thinking he was going to hit the floor -- another hard surface and broken glass -- when he felt the strong grip on his arms. Ray. He was grateful to be helped back to the chair. 

Benny. Im going to take you back to the hospital. 

That wont be necessary, Ray. There are some pills in my tun@ic. The doctor... 

You heard me? 

I heard you. They said at the same moment, both realizing it belatedly. 

Its muffled, but I heard you... I hear you. Tears sprang instantly. My... God. His voice trembled with relief. The tears flowed faster than he could brush them away with his hands. 

Ray sat down with weak relief. He was shaking now, too and -- ask him later hed deny it -- he was crying full out as well. 

Thank God. Thank you, God. 

The noise was coming back. 

The pills would have to wait. 

The End 

* * *

End Noise by Dilanne Tomas:

Author and story notes above.


End file.
